Since the whole thing revolves around sex and erotic behavior, and every erotic drawing, thought, text, or whatever reminds me of the black days. How the hell am I still attracted to her?

And I’m attracted more and more every day .. is this love?

I’m hurt, yet I feel that this same topic with her feels .. comforting.

I’m shattered. I swear. Never have I ever been this hurt or felt this bad. Down. Now I have to act it up in front of people. To avoid and concerns or questions, I have to laugh, joke, and fake me body language.

I really have so much to say .. to ask .. though no one listens and no one will answer me. I’m alone in this, and probably will always will be.